jordannmarie

Kaiti Owens- This time last year, or ever for that matter, who would've thought that you and I would ever get along, let alone be as close as we are? I never saw myself ever liking you or being friends with you, and now I can't imagine my daily life without you. From day 1, you've never questioned the decisions I make for myself, you've just always wanted to make sure what I was doing made me happy. You've always stood behind me through everything I've done, both completely stupid and intelligent, and for that I can't thank you enough. You're not afraid to tell me when I'm being stupid, and you're always the first one to tell me like it is, whether I want to hear it or not, haha. Hands down, you are by far the best friend I've had, and I can't thank you enough for putting up with me, and still loving me. We've had our ups and downs through the past couple months, but I can't thank you enough for sticking around, because believe me when I say I still need you, and I always will <3

Chelsea Jeffries- This past school year we always talked about how much we needed to hang out, and never really did. But lately, I feel like I've been getting to know you so well, and I swear to the lord we're twins seperated at birth, seriously! We have so much in common, and you are seriously one of the funniest people I think I've EVER met. You say what's on your mind, and you just really don't care how stupid it is, and for that I love you dearly haha. I hope that as time passes, we become close because I can really see us becoming such good friends :)

I'll let myself inhale every last bit of your cologne. Wipe away my tears that will continue until you come back home. I'll let myself gaze at your gorgeous smile, knowing that it will be the last time I see it in a while. Lastly, I let you hold me tight until both our bodies feel combined, and your heartbeat falls in rhythm with mine.

I'm sure you see yourself as oh so unique; you're just a sucker for the flame of the week. But you forget that in your fairy tale, I'm the wolf; all this attention got you thinking you were a queen. You thought that everything in life you want should be free. Yet, nothing is what you think. All the same, you were a cup of water, who poured out your heart, I drank it, and now I'm just feeling sick. This scenery keeps changing, but the same sad plot keeps repeating, and you always wind up leaving me.

1) I'm starting to fall back into my old habits. Just as I thought I'd finally moved past that stage, and left it behind long ago, it's starting to show it's face again. I don't know if I can handle this yet again, it took so much to get through it the first time..literally. This will make sense to no one, do not ask me about it.

2) I feel like everything I'm about, my morals, my standards, are all starting to fade away into nothing. I've stopped standing by what I believe in, and I've stopped sticking up for what I know is right. Lately, I can't help but think maybe this is why things aren't exactly going my way.

3) I feel like every friendship and every relationship I've tried so hard to hold onto and keep under control has hit a rough patch. I'm not sure how much energy I have left to invest, but I'm not giving up. On anyone.

Lately, I haven't been able to put my feelings into words, or even express myself  the way I'd like to. I need my friends, I need stability, I need real promises, and I need my family. And probably, that's about all at the moment. Despite everything, I'm still a happy girl, and I love the life I live, and the people I share it with<3

"I'll take my chances while you take your time with this game you play. But I can't control your soul, you need to let me know are you leaving or you gonna stay?"

Lately, I've felt like I've been living someone else's life, in someone else's body, thinking someone else's thoughts. Never once have I thought of myself as more an observer, rather than a talker. This past few weeks, I've found myself growing more and more silent, and my eyes have been taking in more observations than my mouth has been speaking words. Sometimes you meet people, and you pass them by. Then you think to yourself, this person will never come to my mind again. After today, I probably will never speak their name, who cares? And then sometimes those people do cross your mind, and you can't help but think about them, especially the ones that seem so overjoyed and in love with the life they're living.  I went on an hour long walk to clear my mind this morning, think things over, and tire myself out. At the end of it, I was tired, frustrated, scared, and dissapointed. " When my thoughts grow dark, I don't see the space in front of me. I just walk the streets of my mind, without a single thought of space and time." At least something makes me feel productive these days.